This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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