i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize