Sacagawea was the original milf.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
