he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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