Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize