I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize