I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
