he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
