i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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