Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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