Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
