I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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