You just made me feel so damn special
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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