i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
