i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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