but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
