I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The uberlube is also flammable
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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