could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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