i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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