what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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