I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
