I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
where does the pee come out of this thing
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
