Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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