I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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