i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
