i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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