Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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