I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
