Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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