I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
