she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well I just put wine in my tea
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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