something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
