Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
