woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I will pee on everything he values.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
