Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
