there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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