Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I didn't notice because vodka
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
