I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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