wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
