then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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