Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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