I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
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We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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