white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
