when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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