No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
