every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
did i walk over a car last night?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
