having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
