Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
