You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
