The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
