Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
