You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
barbara walters just said penis...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
