I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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