ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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