I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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