someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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