I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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