seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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