im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Fuck appropriateness.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
